By: Esan Femi Williams
It was indeed a scene I never wished to miss.
Chief Cosmos is a widower and a retired pharmacist, who has a pharmaceutical shop at the front of his house. He is also one of the oldest landlords in Williams street, with an old stricken building, but with the highest rent. However, he has the best well-water in the whole street, which serves a larger number of the street dwellers. Chief Cosmos is so rich but will never spend a dime to manage and maintain his house. The same attitude he had towards his children and deceased wife is the same attitude he has towards anything that pertains to spending money. Chief isn't poor at all. Even his monthly pension allowance as a retired senior pharmacist is enough to cater for him and his entire tenants, if possible. He'd rather spend on roadside chicks and his so called Baby Mamas.
His two children, having survived under harsh situations and sordid realities had traveled abroad, forgetting him in Nigeria after shaking his parental responsibility over them, even before they lost their Mom.
Just as usual, I went to chief's house to draw some water in preparation for my morning lecture. I met two ladies there, so I needed to wait for my turn, even though I was a little bit hasty. It was about getting to my turn when I saw two Men chasing each other out of the room with a machete. Lo and behold, it was Chief Cosmos and his tenant, Mr Dan.
It was indeed a funny scene but I had to suspend the chuckle. My Dad had warned me to keep a distance from a conflict scene. So, I had to leave my bucket of water at the well to catch sight of the whole happening from a distance.
Dan had reported his landlord to the Chairman, landlords' association of his street countless times on issues relating to sexual harassment and assault. Dan had claimed that his wife did complain about the attitudes of his landlord towards his wife whenever he's not around. Dan is a Danfo driver who dashes out to work as early as 5a.m in the morning, and comes back late at night.
Chief Cosmos had through his inhumane character evicted nearly all his tenants out of his house. However, some left due to his incessant increase in rent without any improvement on the house. In fact, if not for his acclaimed special interest in Dan's wife, he would have evicted them out of the house as well, as they were still owing him a year rent.
Dan's wife couldn't calm her husband's anger. Immediately her husband chased Chief out of the room with a machete, she rushed out to invite elders in the street to come intervene before things get out of hands. Within a twinkling of an eye, chief's house was filled with people from every corners of the street, full of surprises and curiosity. Just like that Nigerian popular adage, "Every day is for the thieve, one day is for the owner", many were already waiting for a day like that to come especially those guys in the street whose girlfriends have been hijacked by the pharmacist all in the name of free drugs and "sex kit". It was indeed a judgement day for Chief Cosmos.
He thought Dan had left for work as usual. His intention this time was to come accomplish his mission with full force as he has never done it to the extent of coming to Dan's apartment to meet his wife. Dan hid himself inside the bedroom. His wife was at the veranda sweeping as Chief stylishly came from behind and tickled her by the side. That really got Dan's wife infuriated that she had to dash into the living room in anger. As if that wasn't enough, chief followed her inside, putting on just a singlet and a short dross. It was at that point Dan suddenly came out of his hiding place with a machete, having the intention of shuffling chief's head off his neck. He luckily escaped and ran out of the room while Dan kept chasing him furiously with the machete.
On the run, chief stumbled and fell. Dan was almost hitting him when some passersby intervened and led them back home. It was a great crowd in chief's house as many were eager to know the root cause of the whole matter. Chief was called upon by the Elders to narrate his own side of the story but he couldn't utter a word. He was full of shame and as a result, kept silent throughout.
Though Dan had insisted that the matter be taken to the police station, but the Elders pleaded on chief's behalf. He was therefore told to sign an undertaking incurring strict and heavy penalty if caught with such evil act again. Dan told chief in the presence of everyone that he's not too lazy to cater for his wife's needs; though he's not financially buoyant. Dan's wife understands and knows her husband's daily struggle, so she would never cheat on him. Dan is financially disabled but possesses strong and able body parts which helps him to at least put food on his family's table. The matter was thereafter settled amicably and everyone departed.
Two weeks after, Dan got a phone call from an unknown caller. Surprisingly, it was one of his customers he had helped transport goods on one of the Sundays after church service. Dan had returned a bag of money to Mrs Okonkwo after getting to know that she forgot the money in his danfo bus. It was now payback time as Mrs Okonkwo ordered his immediate vacation from his abode to a bungalow in the city. She also gave him a sum of three Million Naira to venture into any business of his choice. That ended Dan's era of suffering and insult in chief's house. His financial disability suddenly turned around and that was the beginning of a new life for him and his dear wife.
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